"SUICIDE- An unheard tale from inside the heart"

SUICIDE- “killing oneself”. Life is so precious, only the opportune gets a life of a human being, it is a treasure, we should nurture it ,we should take the best out of it, we are the only creatures who can talk, laugh, smile and can do work, but, some people don’t realize its importance then they  kill themselves and paint their hands with the red color, they take their own life, they take their life which is supposed to be taken by god.HOW AND WHY!!?. As i have recently heard that india is one of the most depressed countries in the world, it is not a shocker for me, if statistics are to be believed then estimated two lakh people commit suicide every year in india.Sometimes i wonder what it takes a person to play with his own life.In general, when even a small needle pinches us, we take our hands back out of stimulation, when someone hits us, we hit them back in self defense, human is so selfish that they love themselves more than anybody else in this world, they can’t let anything or anybody  harm them, then  how a person becomes so courageous to take his own life?. This question really intrigues me every now and then.There are various reasons to commit suicide like depression, feeling that they are “useless”, hopelessness ,no support in case of emotional turmoil, No one to share .Everyone says that suicide is not a solution to any problem, even i support that completely, but sometimes i wonder  that what it feels like to be a person who is hopeless, who thinks that  there is nothing left in this world, who thinks that he is not worthy of living and loving, his life is not worthy for anything, his life is tantamount to garbage?. I love acting so  i am putting myself into the character of a “suicide victim” ,even the feel of being a  victim is so horrifying, now i can actually feel what passes through inside the victim’s heart while taking this extreme step.Even they are sorry, even they know this is an immoral step , BUT, still they don’t get scared once?. They do feel, they know this is wrong, they know everything but still they throw themselves into this hell.It is the story of a victim who is about to commit suicide but wants to say something just half an hour before committing this heinous task.

JUST HALF AN HOUR BEFORE....

( lying on the floor,teary,swollen eyes, tangled hair, looking at the ceiling, and thinking about the life, a flash back of everything is coming in front of the eyes.)

“I am taking my life today, only half an hour is left , i am remembering all the moments of the past, i was a happy soul, everything was so picture perfect,i was in my dreamy world, laughing ,giggling , enjoying and slept peacefully,BUT everything has collapsed now!!. Some people might consider that i am a loser ,good for nothing ,i do not even love myself, i do not have the courage to face the ordeals and difficulties in my life anymore and i am running away from it, but let me tell you, things are not like this, i do love myself, i always did, even i assumed a normal life ,having a family, having some happy moments,  having someone to talk with,  i always wanted to feel loved and cared, even i want to grow old, i want to gain all the experience, even i want to see this beautiful world ,BUT,things turned the other way round.Now i am hopeless like a corpse  and became handicapped emotionally, when i see my contact list in the phone, there is no one so that i can talk to, i want to trot out my feelings to someone who will understand the mess which i am going through, but everyone is busy in their lives, no body has the time to listen to my fears and anxiety.There is no one so that i can look up to, i just can’t see myself in the mirror, i am so  tired of seeing myself crying like a baby, i am tired of  failures, people started looking at me as if i am a dust bin, i lost all courage, i lost all smiles, i can’t bear this pressure, i tried not to take this step, then i went on to search for happiness and hope , again everything was bleak, i don’t feel like decorating my body, i did so many mistakes i accept, now i don’t have the courage to accept it, i am guilty stricken , i am dying inside, when i was a child i smiled like an every ordinary child, i played, i had fun, but now i just forgot to smile, i don’t feel like waking up,that is why i planned to sleep forever,BUT,I am surely not a looser, it is just now i don’t want to try to win anything.I know i am doing wrong , but i know i can’t do anything right now.I am not running away from my problems, it is just i can't run anymore, i am lethargic.I love my self, but it is just i hate myself more now.I am really sorry everyone.I wish in next birth you will not get a child like me mummy, i know i let you down, but trust me i love you so much.BUT, it is just i can’t take it anymore.Everything is got shattered.No one is a bad person since birth, it is just the circumstances that made them bad.last but not the least i am extremely sorry to the people to whom i have ever hurt intentionally or unintensionally.”


YES!! This is what go through in victim’s mind, it is not their fault. Human being is made up of emotions, they need love , support and care.Some are sensitive,when they don’t get it, they are compelled to take this step.In india we don’t have the culture where parents ask their children about their real life issues, husband and wives are not best friends, they are more indulged in fulfilling their duties, there is lot of social pressure, people are not willing to take their feelings out.This all leads to emotional disturbances and ultimately leads to this "life threatening step". Even if somebody is not your friend, lend a ear and hear his problems ,and after listening to all his problems, it will also make you feel better as well.This will boost up your confidence as well.Everyone wants to live BUT some people forgets to live , to enjoy it .They need somebody to tell them that life is so beautiful and people love you for the way you are.Don’t indulge into "momentary" madness.Just think for a moment you have done some beautiful things in the past and surely you will do it further too.You are a winner, it is just that winner gets the phase where they lose, that's it.You did mistakes, but just tell me the name of a single human alive who does not committed the mistakes, after all mistakes teaches us so many things to make our life better in future, we learn from our mistakes.But NEVER EVER take this step.BE POSITIVE, STAY POSITIVE.Life has so many wonderful things to offer...IT IS BEAUTIFUL.


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