My Nine Identities


People generally classify themselves into two imaginary self, the first one is DEVIL,who is an evil and another one is ANGEL, who is the nicest of all, but, two days before i classified my inner self into ‘NINE’ images or NINE chicas who lives within me ,who comes along with the events which take place in my life everyday and they keep on messing up in my head.They sometimes sit beside me, sometimes provoke me, sometimes laugh with or at me, sometimes annoy me more and more. I find these are the nine avatars of Durga Maata, after all in our religion women is defined as goddess .These different  girls comes occasionally to tell me that there is so much inside my soul, so much to explore, so much to interpret. Today i am defining my all the “self” or you can say my “seven different actors’ who do cameo in the movie of my life every now and then. At one moment, there is a girl who is like a wild wolf ,who feels like destroying everything in anger, on the other, i have that woman inside me who can love someone like a mother loves her child selflessly ,there is an another girl who is as confident as lion, there is a girl who gets scared so much like a rat and at one point there is a girl who is so positive that she can do pep talk and can inspire many lives ,on the other end, she is so negative, she has suicidal thoughts on little unnecessary trivial matters .I felt one day that i am depressed and mood swings are happening, but i got to know that there is something different that is buzzing my body ,i have so many different traits, then i scanned myself and met these wonderful ladies who dwells inside me and i was quite unaware about it. I can name the movie of my life '9 shades of khyati'. Here are my different shades, the best thing about my pretty girls is that everyone can relate to it.

ANGRY YOUNG WOMAN ,She scares me!,whenever she comes, she is an angry young woman, she is a witch ,whenever i start boiling up in anger, she comes and work as a fuel in the fire.She intoxicates my tongue and teaches it abusive words, foul language, senseless and  inappropriate words and tries to demean others. Even i try to stop her;but her red face remains red no matter how many times i tried to shut her up, she takes all the control of my life and mouth for that moment.When she calms down, even she has no regrets, she laughs at us and says” some people should only be treated by me, no matter what people say about me, if i will not be present within you, people might exploit you and they will leave no chance to destroy you". She believes in vengeance, she is a rebel. She says she can bring discipline in the world (i really don’t want to meet this self again ,but it can’t be possible till we are alive, we can only manage her).

A GIRL WHO LOVES TO BEING IN LOVE, only fewer people know that i am a hardcore romantic girl, i believe in giving , i love being in love, i love like a mad girl, who wants to talk politely always, who wants to make tons of friends, who wants to fall in love madly, who always talks with respect, who wants to make her man go crazy for her ;i just want this self to become my best friend forever. Whenever she comes ,we discuss about love,love and only love. I bet if someone would see my this side, he can never let me go and end up becoming addicted to my love. She is not at all stubborn, if you will say something nicely to her, she will obey all your decisions and orders without raising a question. She can give her life if someone would ask her with the teary eyes.She is so sensitive, she cries on petty things. She always understands the emotional needs of others, tries to connect with them and loves to hear their side without judging them. In short, she is awesome and i want her to always with me till my last breath.

CRY BABY, Whenever she comes out, she is hard to handle, so is her face, she opens up the tap  and she is unstoppable. She is too sensitive, sometimes she doesn’t cry on big sensitive issues but on the other ,sometimes she cries on the weirdest things that has no sense and there was no need to. She cries like an infant, her heart pains and her chest bulges out. She feels like murdering herself, she goes into depression immediately ,she wants to die, she loses all her hope at the one moment and she looks in the mirror and sees her face, weeping more and more and start pitying herself. She then looks in her eyes and smiles with a fatty nose and then tries to console herself. I never want this baby to cry ever again, but she is a girl, she can leave everything but she can’t leave this.

CONFIDENT LIKE A LION ,she is sanguine and have that much courage that she can climb mount everest if she determines, if somebody believes in her, she can be a warrior , she can win an Oscar,  she can address a rally,she can stand up for injustice, she can beat somebody , she doesn't care about the world, she can do any possible thing on earth, she is a LION. No one can stop her. Her confident face is enough to make people conscious of themselves. She always hold her head high, killing everyone with her confidence and charm. She is my favorite lady.

B +(Be positive), She is just like my blood group, despite of so many ordeals and miseries in her life ,she always stands positive. She always thinks that glass is half full, she is a jug which is filled with optimism,  she thinks that she has a bright future, she can conquer the world. She knows that happiness and sorrows are just a phase and soon they will pass. She has written an article here also (My Dreams Of Positivity). This lady is everyone's favorite.

LIBRA (A Girl With the Scales), this is little bit different self from the other pretty girls, my libra zodiac comes out whenever i see injustice pondering in front of my eyes.She feels like giving punishment to all the convicts in the world. She can tolerate anything in this world but she can’t tolerate injustice. She can stand up for anybody, She is feisty and fearless. She is a “lady of justice”. She always do and think what she feels right.She never take side of the person she loves,instead she is always stands with 'justice and equality', these are her two favorite words.

KINDNESS AND MERCILESS, i know these words are opposite, but yes,she can be as kind as Mother Teresa ,but, at some places she can be as merciless as Hitler. She believes in giving, she thinks that "joys of giving are more then joys of receiving" , she loves to help people, she believes in the theory of karma , what goes around comes around .But whenever she thinks that someone has done anything wrong to her, she is no more a softer candy, she becomes a rock and can go up to any level as protector of her self respect and self esteem.She can't compromise on this.

MISS J, she claims that she is sure if any man would love her will never leave her for the sake of any other beautiful girl, but an insecure girl comes out whenever she sees her man with someone else, she hates that girl, and starts doubting her capabilities.But she is also sure that no girl can love her man the way she do, but yes she can't stand by this idea of her man looking at other girls.She is miss J without a doubt.

DRAMA QUEEN, she is the funniest of all, she loves to make expressions, she loves to entertain people, acting and dancing are her first and last love.She makes all kind of expressions from funny to sentimental.She always wanted to be an actor, she make faces all the time. She is the most adorable of all.That is why i keep her company all the time, people love her and i love when people love it.She is my favorite too.

I think after all this even i felt that i have extreme emotions.When i love, i love hard, when i get angry i can’t see anything, when i am confident i feel like i am the Prime Minister of  this country, when i am crying, i lose my face, i cry so hard, i touch the heights of everything, that is why i love myself for the way i am. There is no harm in loving yourself but it should not be replaced with self obsession. Everyone should keep inspecting about themselves and discover what is unique within them, everyone is blessed with something, it is just people doesn’t get the time to discover themselves. Spend some quality time with yourself, surely you will be pleasantly surprised.


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